Dad, you come home late, dark circles under your eyes, and you walk slowly towards your room and collapse onto the bed. I complain, you listen, I complain, you nod, I complain some more, but you dont shout at me. You say you understand, but I say you dont.
You've taught me life lessons, you've taught me how to handle problems, you make me feel protected, you pass word of wisdom. You're like a sun to me, always there, beaming light and warmth of my life. But still I would complain, to an innocent person like you, as if the love you gave me, was not enough.
This year, I hope to be more understanding. I'll greet you with a warm smile, when you come home late from work, I will respect you, because you are my rock and sun.
This year, I hope to be more understanding. I'll let you sleep when you're tired, I'll listen to you, I will not complain.
You give me shelter of care, you've taught me what's right and wrong, and lead our house, with instruction from the bible.
This year, I will be more understanding, and will do my best to be your first class daughter.
awwww how nice:) I like your first paragraph the most because it made the reader's heart feel that moment you're describing.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! I am glad that you decided to give this to your dad, I am sure that he will appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteThink about revising your line breaks.
I like the first stanza a lot because you put a lot of detail and i could actually imagine what was going on. :)
ReplyDelete-Paola C. Rivera
Good job, I could really showed lots of imagery and it flowed. keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI can really tell your regret misunderstanding our dad and how you want to be an undersanding person, although i already think you are! Great job!!
ReplyDeleteman! that was really good! I love your refrain you put them right in the perfect places! at the beginging i love how you discribe how your dad comes in late, tier etc! also I really like the last sentence when you say "and will do my best to be your first class daughter" i like it because it has its flow, and melody good job :)
ReplyDeleteWow absolutely beautiful I love it...Very VEry very very very well written. I can imagine it its sooo clear wonderful
ReplyDeleteILOVEIT!
ReplyDeleteSo much imagery, pauses, poetic devices, mystery! Super gorgeouss! :)