Dear Ashini

Y. Seok
618 Miracle Lane
Panama City, Panama

September 8th 2010

Dear Ashini,
How are you? This isnt an imperative letter but I just wanted to tell you how I was. It's been so long not talking to you. After that spontaneous news about you leaving to Denmark, my desposition changed from good to bad. Our memories still recur to me. We used to tell our deepest secrets, gossip, and laugh together. You used to hear my struggles, compliment me, and care about me. You were the one who cheered me up. But now you're gone to somewhere far way-Denmark. Even though I sometimes complain to you, you listen to me, without a single argue. I'm sorry if I wasn't a great friend, but you were just so nice enough to understand me. Thank you :)


I miss you're laugh at lunch, your support in spanish class, and your voice which always sounded so warm, like you were my sister. There is so much things I want to tell you, but I can't. You're not here... Remember the times when you used to read me your anthology of poems ? They were so beautiful I can still remember it clearly. I wish I could hear it again, but of course we can't go back time.


I wonder how you are doing Ashini. Do you like Denmark? I bet you do. It's would be your first time seeing snow!!! Is the people in your school kind? Do you have a bestfriend? I surmise that you do because no one would hate your personality.


My dad said that next year we would probably leave Panama. I hope we get picked to go to Denmark!!!Then I can see you and be your bestfriend I used to be. I miss you so much and love youuuu !!!!! :D

Your friend who misses you a lot,
Yeji Seok

Confession Tuesday

I am not going to like a guy. I know it would take a while to get use to, but I'm going to try my best. These days, I realized that if you secretly like a guy, the only thing that gives you is a second of happiness and the rest is pain and hurt. Some of you guys could think I'm out of my mind, but if you are in my shoes right now, you will understand. Liking a guy, makes you think of him all day long, you become self-concious, and you cannot concentrate on other things.


The person who was once in my heart, is slowly starting to disappear. I try to think of other things-- a funny movie, my bestfriend, and what I will do when I come home. I'm afraid I will have a broken heart if I like a guy. I don't look at his face, I don't look at his direction, and I talk to other guys to take my mind off him. The love you get back, last just a second, but makes your heart beat so fast you're out of breath. But the pain and hurt you get, has no words to describe it. It feels as if you are drowning in the big waves, pushing you deep inside the dark, cold ocean. I don't want to struggle anymore longer. The pain I had is so much, I can't even bare it. I don't think I'm ready to experience it again. I need to wait for my heart to heal.

In my grade, almost every girl has a crush. Or thats what I'm guessing. If you tell me to seperate the people into two, I can. People who are happy because of love, and people who are sad because of love. Surprising, but its true.

So yeah. Thats what I want to confess today. I'm not saying I am going to hate guys, but that I will not like a guy as in have a crush on him. But instead, I want to be a great friend to everyone, including guys, and be the happy, friendly Yeji, I used to be.

I Will Never Drink Wine Again

I flipped through the channels, nothing dragging my attention, not even my favorite channel number 7. Dad sat beside me, a glass of wine in his hand. He watched me flip through some more channels and after a few seconds, he yelled, "Wait, stop there Yeji! Lets watch that."





I rolled my eyes, and threw the remote control onto the sofa. Every movie my dad choose, are mostly detective and mystery. And this of course, was one of them. It was SUPER boring I shall say, but my dad was so into the movie he didn't notice I stood up and went to the kitchen to get myself some bread. I sat back onto the black sofa, and looked around. I was drowning in boredom;I had to do something.

Then thats when an idea hits me . I turned to look at dad, who of course was still drinking his wine , while looking at the T.V. I saw the blood-red wine shinning inside the glass.



"Dad, can I take a sip of your wine please?" I asked, my voice shaking. Dad stopped watching the T.V and looked at me, confused.


"You want to drink this???" Dad asked, his face the are-you-crazy sign.


"Yes, just a sip. I want to try how it taste like" I replied. Dad thought for a moment, and I heard nothing but just the sound of the T.V.


"Ok, but just a sip." He warned, handing me his blood- red wine. The smell was so strong. Grape, alcohol, and other things which I couldn't recognize. I put my lips onto the glass, and slowly, but carefully started to drink little by little. The taste was powerful, it was worse than anything I've ever tasted in my whole life. A frown stretched across my face, and quickly I placed the wine down on the table.



"AHHHHHH ITS NASTY!!!!!" I yelled, running to the kitchen to get some water.


"I knew you wouldn't like it" I heard my dad say behind me. Drinking the water didn't help much but at least some of the taste went away. I sat down back on the sofa and looked at my dad drinking wine. I shivered. The wine slowly started to dissapear.





Thats when I learned it. I will NEVER again drink wine. I can still remember the taste perfectly. My dad used to tell me wine taste like grape juice but just with alcohol but NO WAY, its not true...Its WORSE. At least to me it was. I promise to myself I will never again let that glass of wine near me. The worst part is, I had a really bad stomache ache AND my disposition went normal to bad...-.-

Just the way you are- Bruno Mars

Like any other day, I was on the bus, listening to music. Today, all the way home, I was listening to songs like, Cody Simpson's -"iYiY," "Just the way you are," by Bruno Mars, "Whatcha say" by Jason Derulo," and "Dynamite" sung by Taio Cruz. Most of the time, when I listen to music, I think about the things that happened to me in the past, and remember them. I never have a blank mind while I listen to music. I dont know why. It's just how I am :)

All the songs I hear are very good, but these days, my favorite one is the song, "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars. I don't know whether this song just came out or if it is old , but I mean, who cares? Music that you LIKE, is what that matters. This music, it brings back a lot of memories and thoughts. I'm in my own world, thinking...and thinking... The words, its so touchy, I'm swimming in them. It relates so perfectly to what I'm usually thinking these days. The person who says, "I like just the way you are", the person who doesn't care about what you wear, how you look, but cares about that pure clean heart of yours. The person who thinks about you, who says "You're so beautiful" every day, who says "There is nothing for you to change because you're amazing"


And I keep thinking, while the bus is moving, while I see the world outside, through my window. I don't think about the people who are walking, the little kids who are screaming, or the traffic. But this music.

The face, the memories, the thought, the words, it flashes up. Its like I'm seeing a movies. But instead of not knowing what would happen next, I know it. I know what would happen. I know it perfectly. Because its my memory. But somewhere deep inside my heart, it cries...and cries...and I don't know why...


I hear my sister shouting at me, and then I realize, that the bus was waiting for me to go out the door. I wish I could listen to this song, a little bit more, just 5 more minutes, but this stupid bus stops me...

I Love Spaghetti

I love spaghetti. All Italian foods are amazing but spagetti's my favorite. I always order spaghetti in every restaurant I go to. You might think, "Don't you get tired of them?" Well, no. I never do. I wouldnt mind if I ate spaghetti all three meals. Thinking of it, already makes my mouth water.

The best spaghetti I've ever ate so far was in Miami, at Dolphin Mall. Oh my God, Im getting hungry. The golden cheese sprinkled on top on the beautiful red sauce and spaghetti noodles. It melts in my mouth, the wonderful taste pervading. I regret not getting a second serving, but oh well, there would be better ones in the world, wouldnt they?

My sister calls me a spaghetti freak (I think I really am). But how am I suppose to stop my love towards spaghetti? Impossible. Never. When Im an adult, Im going to go to Italy and try the REAL spaghetti. I'll see if what people said is true. If someone dared me not to eat spaghetti for a month, I bet you I'll lose in a week (Seriously).

I better stop from here, or I'll end up in the kitchen shouting, "Mom! Make me spaghetti!!!"

I Go to Facebook

Because it's where
People go
to chat,
See picture of your friends,
and to know whats happening.

I see who are online,
and chat,
With Luciana,
Jaye,
Eleanor,
Carla,
The usuals.

We talk about,
School,
Homework,
Movies,
Friends,
The usuals.

But today,
I feel bored, tired and blue
I see a person online,
And chat,
A person who I barely
Talk to.

The new feeling,
The new subject,
The excitement that pervades
Through my body.

The person
Who now,
Feels like my bestfriend,
Who I've forgotten,
But now found.

The longer we talk,
The feeling we're getting
To know each other better,
The feeling
We're more than
Just friends.

The person says bye,
And I feel the needles stabbing
Into my heart.
The person's typing something.
I wait.
And I see it
The words the person typed.
I smile my biggest smile,
And reply.
Then say ,"Goodbye"

The Tell-Tale Heart

It was midnight when our commander woke us up. Most of my friends were still sound asleep but I managed to get up and clad my police suit. It had been told that a shriek had been heard by a neighborhood during the night. I surmised that It was a murder or a robbery. 2 of other police officers and I were to go to the victims house.

We knocked on the door, and saw a man smiling. We introduced ourselves and said that our endeavor was to search the house for any evidence to the death. The man nods, the smile still there, as if he already knew what we were going to say. The man said in a non- abrasive tone that he was the son of the old man, and that he left the country.

We made a cursory search around the house before entering any of the rooms. Nothing. As my other two friends and I entered the victims room, I felt gruesome stretch across my body as if I got bitten by a snake and the poison was pervading. We gingerly looked for any inventory that could prove the death. But unfortunately, there wasnt much.

I was surprised to see the man bring chairs for us to sit. The man kindly asked us if we want anything to drink. I quickly asked for coffe since my mouth was dehydrated because I havent drank anything since I woke up.


We sat there, sipping our coffee, while he answered cheerily, we chatted off familiar things. The man sat on a chair, listening to our conversation. He talked more fluently, with a heightened voice. Though my mouth kept chatting, my mind was on the man. Now his face showed no color but white, and the smile that welcomed us first, gone... We talked louder--louder--louder! And still we chatted pleasantly, and smiled. The man paced the floor to and fro with heavy strides, frustration shown on his face. I suspected he was the murderer. We smiled our hipocritical smile and now--again -- hark! louder! louder! louder! LOUDER!--

The man took it no more and shrieked, "Villains! Dissemble no more! I admit the deed!--tear up the planks!--here, here!-- it is the beating of his hideous heart" We tore the planks and I felt a chill ran up my spine and grimaced as I saw the succumbed man, still as a stone, the abrasion on his body, haunting me.

I Hate Mosquitos

Today, I want to confess that I hate mosquitoes. The way they buzz into air, the way they look, gives goosebumps on me. And of course, being bitten my one...This is one of the reason why I dont enjoy being in warm countries. BUGS are the problems. Mosquitoes are the worst.


Here I am, typing and Im already bitten by one. I have the urge to scratch them, but I know that wont help. And the weird thing is, I dont see them!!! Where on earth are they??? They are like these invisible creatures that just bites you and go. And leaves you with the whole day scratching it...


Do you know what is the most common thing people suffer from? Yes, you're right. Mosquitoes...


Sometimes, I wonder why God made mosquitoes when the only thing they do is make people sick. They dont do no good. Just biting you and leave.


Do you know how annoying it is when a fly buzzes in your ear while your sleeping? VERY ANNOYING. It bothers your sleep and you just want to kill that stupid thing to stop buzzing and for it to go away.

I swear if there wasnt any mosquitoes in this earth right now , I would be typing this in PEACE.

Frustrated, Annoyed, Depressed.

Have you ever been so nervous that you cant even talk to that person? You've got more than 6 things to say but your lips are glued? Frustrated, annoyed, and blaming yourself. It goes on for days, but it doesnt improve. You see that person online one day, and you say Hi, but as soon as you click enter, he's offline. One step too late.


You're frustrated, annoyed, and blaming yourself...again. Negative thoughts stab you hard in the heart, like sharp knives. Your homework is infront of you, the clean worksheet waiting, untouched. You've got a quiz tomorrow, but you dont study. You just stare...thinking...thinking...waiting...daydreaming...

You talk to people, trying to push that thought away. But it doenst last long. It shoots back to you. Making you think...think...think...again....



Then an idea comes into mind. Your fingers type quickly, and you find yourself in fb. You click your inbox, and click "send a new message." Slowly, but carefully you type. 10 minutes, 15 minutes...You're done.



Your heart is healing, and the rock that was in your heart, slowly fades away. You smile. Not depressed, frustrated, or annoyed.


Then you realize, if you send a message, the pounds of worry disappears. You've told your worry to that person, and soon it would be read, and be solved. Your heart isnt entirely perfect, but better.



And then you go back to do your homework.

This Year, I hope to be more understanding

Dad, you come home late, dark circles under your eyes, and you walk slowly towards your room and collapse onto the bed. I complain, you listen, I complain, you nod, I complain some more, but you dont shout at me. You say you understand, but I say you dont.

You've taught me life lessons, you've taught me how to handle problems, you make me feel protected, you pass word of wisdom. You're like a sun to me, always there, beaming light and warmth of my life. But still I would complain, to an innocent person like you, as if the love you gave me, was not enough.

This year, I hope to be more understanding. I'll greet you with a warm smile, when you come home late from work, I will respect you, because you are my rock and sun.

This year, I hope to be more understanding. I'll let you sleep when you're tired, I'll listen to you, I will not complain.

You give me shelter of care, you've taught me what's right and wrong, and lead our house, with instruction from the bible.

This year, I will be more understanding, and will do my best to be your first class daughter.