Confession Tuesday

I am not going to like a guy. I know it would take a while to get use to, but I'm going to try my best. These days, I realized that if you secretly like a guy, the only thing that gives you is a second of happiness and the rest is pain and hurt. Some of you guys could think I'm out of my mind, but if you are in my shoes right now, you will understand. Liking a guy, makes you think of him all day long, you become self-concious, and you cannot concentrate on other things.


The person who was once in my heart, is slowly starting to disappear. I try to think of other things-- a funny movie, my bestfriend, and what I will do when I come home. I'm afraid I will have a broken heart if I like a guy. I don't look at his face, I don't look at his direction, and I talk to other guys to take my mind off him. The love you get back, last just a second, but makes your heart beat so fast you're out of breath. But the pain and hurt you get, has no words to describe it. It feels as if you are drowning in the big waves, pushing you deep inside the dark, cold ocean. I don't want to struggle anymore longer. The pain I had is so much, I can't even bare it. I don't think I'm ready to experience it again. I need to wait for my heart to heal.

In my grade, almost every girl has a crush. Or thats what I'm guessing. If you tell me to seperate the people into two, I can. People who are happy because of love, and people who are sad because of love. Surprising, but its true.

So yeah. Thats what I want to confess today. I'm not saying I am going to hate guys, but that I will not like a guy as in have a crush on him. But instead, I want to be a great friend to everyone, including guys, and be the happy, friendly Yeji, I used to be.